EF Benson and the Etiquette of Alien Invasion

Published by: eXtasy Books

ISBN :978-1-4874-0170-2

Page :38

Word Count :8561

Publication Date :2014-10-25

Series : #

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Available Formats : EF Benson and the Etiquette of Alien Invasion (pdf) , EF Benson and the Etiquette of Alien Invasion (prc) , EF Benson and the Etiquette of Alien Invasion (epub) , EF Benson and the Etiquette of Alien Invasion (mobi)

Category : Mainstream Fiction , Science Fiction

Product Code: 978-1-4874-0170-2

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Everyone knows you can’t put Lady Millicent next to Lord Burberry after that unfortunate incident with the cucumber, but does anyone know how to arrange a party of pan-dimensional alien monsters when they arrive–uninvited–at your supper party?

Life for the great and the good is a pleasing round of lunches, dinners and delightful soirées. The talk is delightful, the food is excellent and the company is the best of society. God is an Englishman, and all is right with the world.
Except that the world has just got a lot smaller. For at Lady Hawtree’s supper party, unexpected visitors will be calling. Trickier than foreigners. As dangerous as the lower classes. As potentially embarrassing as slovenly servants. Aliens! Seven feet tall, armour-plated killing machines! Will the guests survive? Will anarchy and socialism break out across the land? Will there be enough salmon sandwiches to go round?
Join the narrator as he watches his social world crumble. There will be revelations. There will be carnage. There will be death. But will there be honey still for tea?

In glancing over this account of the great upheaval that affected society in the early years of the twentieth century, when the existence of trans-dimensional cybernetic aliens was forcefully thrust upon humanity, the reader may well be heard to murmur in protest at yet another book on an overcrowded digital shelf. “What,” you may ask, “can possibly be said on such a well-worn subject?”
While there is some justice in this attitude, I would beg the patience of my readers be extended just a little, for in this account they will find no facts and figures of alien technology, as recounted with enthusiasm by Major General George Horace Humberbatch, MRFC, GGTY etc., in his Lasers, Cybernetics and the New Way of War for the 20th Century. Nor will the reader find any theological concerns such as that displayed in the Reverend Marmoset Golightly’s Jesus Lives Within the Alien Overlord. Neither will this volume advise you on how to address the second hatchling of the subprime swarm leader of the third batch. For that type of invaluable information, I can heartily recommend Lady Agatha Crustoon’s brilliant Manners and the Martian.
Instead, my humble volume differs in that I, unlike the worthies mentioned above, was actually present at the first meeting with the Garn-Nee on that fateful summer night in 1895. Moreover, I was subsequently present at a great many meetings, social events, balls and parties, in which our leaders met, socialised and learned about the strange visitors to our dimension.
Of course, readers who have grown up with cybernetic enhancement, trans-dimensional travel pods and mixed classes of Garn-Nee and human children, which gave the head teachers of these first cross-over classes quite a headache, given the Garn-Nee’s three sexes, resulting in much shuffling of alien pupils from boys’ classes to girls’ and back again, will find the wonder and astonishment of their grandfathers quite amusing, if not downright ridiculous.
It can, therefore, be difficult to truly understand the turmoil that accompanied the revelation of the existence of life and, indeed, an entire universe, not our own. So, if I may indulge your patience, travel back with me some fifty years to where it all began, and see society as it was then, at its highest, not as it is now, at its lowest.
EFB, Jupiter Station III